Dear Me,
I see you at the end of baby boy’s first year in a great place with nursing. You surmounted all the early obstacles, you’re way past that feeling of only being a boob, and it’s a bonding experience for you both. Yet, all of a sudden, with the approach of the one year mark, a hint of anxiety is sneaking in. Why, might I ask, if everything is going great, would you be starting to worry?
You probably know that, statistically, your nursing mother comrades are becoming less. You are aware that while nursing until the first birth date is celebrated, nursing past it can be taboo depending on your company.
Maybe it’s that you are new at this mothering thing, and you question all of your choices to some degree. Maybe as confident as you might outwardly appear, you care more than you admit about what other people think.
So you buy some books and start educating yourself more. You know you’ll continue to nurse because you know it’s what both you and your child want. That it’s the obvious right choice for this mom/baby duo.
For the first few months of the second year, you are pretty confident sharing that you are still nursing. But then you become a little less so. You do drop the middle of the night feeding, and so now you loosely say that you are weaning since that makes it seem like you have the intention to be done at some point. You let the audience think that means soon, but I can see you are settling in for a more gradual pace.
At about 18 months, your little one has naturally dropped one daytime feeding because he’s so busy exploring the world. You are feeling tired of being tied to the nighttime routine, so you decide to drop the before bed feeding. You wonder how this will go. Will he be upset? Dad steps in to handle bedtime for a few days, and when you put him down at the end of the week, you don’t offer, and he doesn’t ask.
Now you are pregnant, and since you are only nursing once a day, it’s less comfortable, and you feel like it’s the right time. But you feel sad. You love this child, and you have loved nursing. He’s nearing the 2 year mark, and you see his babyness fading away. But when he’s nursing, he is that baby he’s always been. You worry he’ll feel rejected. You have the last nursing session…about five times because when you say no, he looks anxious and like he’s going to cry. But now the nursing isn’t every day, and he’s starting to seem less attached. There is the last time that really is the last time. And he’s fine. And you are fine too.
You nursed un
Well former self, please talk to your future self. When your little girl turns one this summer, will you remember all you’ve learned? Will you be an example to your family, friends, and community to show that nursing is the most normal thing on the planet and that that doesn’t end when the calendar strikes one?
If you are more confident and open, maybe it will help other, newer mothers feel more confident in their choices too.
Sincerely,
Self
Thank you for your post Courtney. Nathaniel will be one years old in less than 4 weeks, and I’ve started feeling the pressure. He still breastfeeds 2-3 times a day, and I feel sad thinking of the LAST time he will breastfeed. Thank you for the encouragement!