Just Because I’m STEP Doesn’t Make Me Any Less of a MOM

I’m a mom to four little boys. Two are my step-sons who are 3 and 7. I have been in their lives since they were 3 and 6 months old. I don’t view them any less than I do my other two children. I don’t even like using the word “step,” and in my house, we don’t use labels like “half” and “step.” Our children know each other as “brothers” and that is what is important to us. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks of a “step-parent” or “step-sibling” as a real family member.

I’m not making this up

Recently, we applied all four children to an Uptown school. Our eldest had attended the school for 3 years and we were so excited to have our two 3 year-olds attend aside him. What we were not expecting was a letter in the mail that one 3 year-old had been accepted and the other had not. We immediately contacted the school and were told that because one of our 3 year-olds did not share the same “blood” as our eldest son, he was not admitted as a sibling and put on the waitlist. As a parent, I struggled with this very much. My heart ached for our 3 year-old who was ostracized from attending the same school as his brothers because his parents decided to be in a blended family.

We get it all the time

Being a blended family is such a blessing for us and we love our family and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. BUT to say it has been hard is an understatement. We recently went to a meeting for our eldest son and the doctor asked his mom if she wanted me to leave because I wasn’t a “parent.” Does this doctor realize that even though my title has “step” in it that I am still his mom? He lives with us a week on and a week off. I cook him dinner, I help him with his homework, I do his laundry, I take him to school, and I love him unconditionally. The fact that we as a society continue to think “step” parents are not just as much as a parent is outrageous.

Ain’t no mountain high enough

We have fought so hard for our family, and we will continue to do so. Even if it means explaining over and over to schools, doctor offices, and the world that we are parents and don’t be fooled by the title “step.” This momma is a momma and I am always going to care for all four of our boys to the fullest of my ability. There isn’t a mountain high enough that I wouldn’t climb to continue to prove that.

To my fellow step-mothers and step-fathers: You got this! Be the best parent you can be, and remember titles are underrated. You just keep doing you!


A “Step-mom”

Janice Rae
In 2016, Janice migrated to the great city of New Orleans from her hometown Atlanta, GA where she obtained her Bachelors degree in Finance from Georgia State University. Being a corporate mommy has been challenging but she is lucky to work for such a great corporation that understands her first job is at home! Janice and her fiance Dan co-parent three children from their previous relationships. Together they have Jordan who is (1). Being a big blended family can be hard, but full of love and a ton of fun!


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