A Letter to my Firstborn Son

My sweet baby. My dream come true. You are loved more than you’ll ever know. I wished you for years and begged so hard when you wouldn’t come. You are the one who made me a mother and for that, I will forever be thankful. I hope you realize just how much you mean to me. If we’ve learned anything lately, is that life is short, and needs to be lived to its fullest, so if one day I don’t get to tell you myself, here’s what mommy needs you to know…

• I’m sorry that when we meet people their focus is only on your twin siblings, and they ignore you. I see it in your eyes the hurt it causes you, but don’t ever feel that this is against you. Twins are still an amazement to some, and I promise you, your presence means just as much as theirs. One day when you are older I hope you understand that.
• When mommy yells, it’s not really against you, and I hate that I hurt your feelings. Mommy is tired. One day when you and your siblings are older mommy won’t be as tired anymore you’ll see.

One day:

• Be a good friend. Be the kind of friend that makes them laugh. Laughter really has a way to make the world a better place. Real friendships are hard to find. You will lose some along the way, and that’s ok. Sometimes people take different paths and can’t see eye to eye anymore and that’s ok.
• Stay true to your feelings. Always.
• Don’t lie. Ever. Lies can hurt so much and sometimes people can never recover from that. It’s just never a good thing.
• Don’t ever settle for anything. Know your worth. You are an amazing human who can achieve anything your heart desires. Go for your dreams, and never let someone discourage you from them no matter how crazy they sound. Goals are everything and an important step stone to become even better.
• Respects others. Everyone and anyone. Animals and humans alike. Don’t ever think your life is more important than anyone else’s. Understand that respect is earned and not always given. Don’t ever judge people by the color of their skin, their disability, their size, their sexual preference, or their religion. You’ll learn that stigma very much exists but it doesn’t make it right. We ALL deserve a place in this world and I hope that when you read this the world will have understood that too.
• Don’t ever cheat your way through anything, it’s not worth it, I promise. Earning everything you have is much more powerful and empowering.
• Love and respect women for everything they are. Understand the meaning of no, and don’t ever allow yourself to lose control. Remember mommy brought you into this world and only women can do that.
• Love fiercely and honestly. You will never go wrong with that. And if one day your heart should break, cry, get mad, and know that those feelings are ok. Give yourself time to heal. It might seem like the worst pain you’ve ever felt at that moment, and it will be, but I promise with time your heart will mend.
• Learn from your mistakes. You’re perfect in my eyes but not everyone sees you through mommy’s eyes. Criticism will be strong in every step of the way. Take the good and leave the bad. Like Socrates said: “Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions, but those who kindly reprove thy faults.”. It’s important you remember this.
• Travel the world. There’s so much to see so, and so many cultures to learn from. The world is truly beautiful.
• Be kind to everyone. You never know when you will be in need of kindness in return. Karma isn’t something to play with.
• Love you brother and sister unconditionally. Cherish them as they will cherish you. Mommy didn’t really grow up with her sister and believe me a void comes with that. It’s the most precious relationship you’ll ever have.

And finally, forgive me for all the mistakes I’ve ever made. Loving you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done that much I know.

Je t’aime, Maman