I Prayed for This

I used to pray for the things I have now. Maybe you’ve heard some variation of that before. Lately, it rings true for me. It is so easy to recognize the struggle and focus on the hardships. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted. I’ve been exhausted since I had our first baby in 2012. I am often rushed, tired, irritated, impatient, frazzled…the list goes on and on. And in those times, I say to myself, “At some point, you prayed for this.” Taking a step back and repeating this to myself felt forced and unnatural to me at first, but eventually, it became my mantra, a track playing on repeat in the back of my mind (FYI, it pairs well with the Serenity Prayer). It’s changed my perspective and enabled me to become grateful in those many moments of chaos. And it’s not hard for me to buy into because it’s true.

When I’m struggling to scrape myself out of bed to go to nursing school at the end of a week full of tests and projects, I think back to when I would pray just to be granted an interview.

When my Tahoe unexpectedly needs two new tires that would set our budget back by $500, I remember when we searched for the perfect car and hoped we could negotiate the price for us to be able to buy it.

When my kids are acting like terrorists children at the grocery, I recall how I prayed for these same happy, healthy children before they were even in my womb.

When my parents aggravate me, I remember how I struggled for my first 6 months postpartum when I needed family support but we didn’t live close and how I prayed for the strength to make it.

When my youngest is in the back seat on a road trip and won’t shut up, I am reminded of when I used to pray through tears that speech therapy would get him talking.

When I argue with my husband, I think about how I prayed he would say yes when I asked him to my Winter Formal in high school (he said no, but that’s another story…).

When my aggravating sweet little dog sprints out the door and down the block and I have to chase her down again, I think about when I prayed ten years ago for her knee replacement surgery to be a success.

When I’m driving through Lakeview and I hit a pothole that makes me wonder if my transmission just fell out or when it rains for an hour downtown and I literally have to swim to my car, I remember how I prayed for the opportunity to move back to New Orleans.

Okay, okay, if I’m being honest, I’m still working on that last one. But you get the idea.

And when I say my prayers at the end of a long day, I take a moment to say prayers of thanksgiving for the very things that make me feel rushed, tired, irritated, impatient, and frazzled.

 

Alyson Haggerty
Alyson lives in Metairie with her husband, Patrick, their 7 and 4 year-old boys, and their Morkie, Beignet. After teaching for almost ten years, she left a career in education and is now a full-time nursing student. In her hypothetical free time, Alyson would enjoy flipping furniture, writing, and dancing. She is always looking for a racquetball partner and loves streetcar rides and playing board games with her family. A good cook, she is constantly on a quest to answer the age-old question, “What’s for dinner?” but has thus far been unsuccessful.

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