The Start of School Ends a Chapter

I Lied

I told someone last week that I wasn’t sad that my kids were both going to full-time school for the first time. I have to apologize. I lied. That was a big, fat lie. I believed it at the time. I must have had myself convinced since I can’t get anything done with them at home. Initially, all I could see was a new world where I could get work done, clean up, be more organized and maybe drink hot coffee.

Well, that party in my head was short-lived.

It was replaced with a massive lump in my throat and a sick stomach. I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My 5 year old and 3 year old are both going to full-time school for the first time.

It’s the end of a chapter

I’m a ball of emotions and I didn’t expect to be. Suddenly, everything we do feels like a last. Where the heck did the time go?

  • It is the last time they will run this errand with me.
  • The last time they will snuggle in my bed at noon
  • The last time they will be eating lunch with MiMi or Maw Maw in the middle of the day

So here is what I did:

Everything they asked for

  • Yes, you can have that bag of powdered donuts
  • Sure, you can stay up until 10:00
  • One more show on the iPad? Absolutely!
  • More marshmallows in your lucky charms? Oh yes, yes!

Call me overindulgent and I see a giant picture of my mother in my head.

The Good News:

  • I am more present. We all are more present together. There has been a sudden shift in my mind that has reminded me to be present with them as much as possible
  • We are singing songs a little louder
  • We have been rolling down the windows in the car because they love this
  • It has been a giant lovefest
  • I can tell you exactly how many times my 3-year-old has told me he loves me between 7 am and 10 am
  • I have cried silently as I am grieving the end of this chapter, but I am also so proud of their growth and this nodal event in their lives
  • I am switching my schedule around to be more available to them in the evenings
  • The hugs and kisses are especially sweet this week
  • We are all starting a new journey and there will be many new milestones to celebrate

Okay, school, ready or not, here we come!

Kelley Lockhart-Delaune
Kelley Lockhart Delaune was born and raised In Metairie, Lousiana. She is married to her husband and has two boys, Roman (6) and Remy (4). Kelley received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology from LSU and her Masters in Social Work from Tulane in 2002. Kelley is a psychotherapist in private practice in Mid-City where she focuses on helping others to heal themselves and their relationships. In her spare time, she enjoys writing about mental health and wellness. She loves the beach, transparency, the color blue, a good coffee, and CrossFit. She shares her family's journey on Instagram @RomanandRemy.

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