Is There Such a Thing As The Perfect Age Gap Between Siblings?

Is there a perfect age gap between siblings?

Being the planner that I am, this is something that I’ve thought about quite often. After having our first baby, I always thought about “Well, if we get pregnant right now, our babies will be *this* far apart.” We knew we wanted to have our babies close together, and we tried for almost a year to get pregnant with our second. (Yes, that means technically we started trying before our baby was a year old.) Crazy? Maybe.

When our second was born, our first babe was 2 years and 3 months old. I thought that was pretty far apart, but boy was I wrong! It was almost like having two babies at the same time, yet who were at completely different stages. So kind of like twins, but not. Shout out to all of you twin moms out there, because y’all are freaking rockstars.

Before having kids, I never knew that sibling age gaps would be such a hot topic. After we had a baby, it wasn’t long before we started getting the question of when would we have our next. Before our baby was even a year old, people would ask when we were going to give him a sibling. Personally, this didn’t bother me at all until we had been trying for a while and I started to get a little sensitive about it, which could be a whole other blog post in itself.

So … the perfect age gap?

I really don’t think it exists, at least not across the board. I believe that it’s different for every family and that every age gap will have it’s pros and cons. For our family, I am very happy that we have two boys so close in age. They already play together so well and show similar interests, and I think growing up they’ll be interested in a lot of the same things at the same time. *HOPEFULLY* they’ll be best friends more than they fight, because I know being close in age also means that they’ll probably argue a lot.

In the beginning, having them so close together was a little more difficult than I imagined it to be. Luckily our 2 year old was fairly easy to potty train and was out of diapers shortly after his little brother was born, so we only had one kid in diapers. At 2 years old though, they still depend on you so much for everything, and there were many times I felt like I was somewhat failing my first born because I was always nursing or changing a diaper or just plain exhausted and couldn’t divide my attention evenly with them.

I know people who have both less of an age gap and more of an age gap between their children. Like I said, I believe every age gap between siblings has its pros and cons for sure. For us, if / when we have a third baby, I think I’d like a little more of an age gap. Possibly 3-4 years from our second babe? I am forever thankful for our first two being so close in age though. I can’t wait to watch them grow and be best friends for life!

If you have multiple children, what is the age gap between your kids? What are the pros and cons? I love to hear other moms’ perspectives on this!

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Meghan lives on the Northshore with her husband, Brandon, and their two boys. She grew up on the Northshore and happily settled back in to raise her family there. When she's not playing referee between her 4 & 2 year olds, she enjoys watching the Food Network and trying to actually learn how to cook (or bake!) Meghan loves being a boy mom and can probably win at any kind of Ninja Turtle trivia.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I have 1 boy that is 11years old, and 1 girl that is 6. They are around 4 1/2 years in age difference. Honestly, we never planned on having our kids spread apart, but it took a while for number two! When I had my second, my first was able to be somewhat self sufficient and not quite as dependent on me! This dependence came in very handy! The only problem is I think he grew up faster, and I miss my baby ❤️!

  2. My two are 19 months apart. The hardest part was when I was too big to get on the floor to play with my daughter when she was 18 months old. My son weighed 10 pounds at birth and I’m only 5’3” so it became quite difficult to get up from the floor at that point.

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