When we are young girls, we are taught from a very young age, that you fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Well as most of us already know, this is not the case. I feel duped and have vowed to paint a more realistic albeit sanitized version of what marriage is. My marriage is especially hard because we, quite frankly, do not belong together. We are complete opposites. We are together to raise our child as well as for financial reasons. We don’t argue or fight. We are partners in this parenthood business, but that’s where it stops.
You are being unfair
I have heard that this is unfair for all parties and that we should separate. Frankly, we have tried that before. It ended with tears, anxiety, financial strain and poor school performance. My husband and I decided that it would be best to get back together for our child’s sake. We are also Catholic, and divorce is very frowned upon in our family despite the fact that my parents are divorced.
Stick it out
I always hear people say that their parents fought and they wished they had gotten a divorce, but I have not had the same experience. Selfish as it may be, I wish my parents had stayed together. I do not think either one of them is particularly happy apart. Now they are growing older, alone. I guess that is part of the reason why I am sticking it out.
It’s a choice
Now I’m not asking you for pity. This was our choice. It has been hard, and it is a very, very lonely road. Separation and divorce is easier said than done. I’m sure that there are many families out there that are experiencing the same thing we are. Hopefully, it is not as common as I think it is. I’d like to think that the majority of couples are happy together, but the statistics and stories from friends of mine, however, make me think otherwise. I sincerely hope that this story does not resonate with you.
I have my own friends and my own interests. I am deeply involved in my child’s life. I hope I am not ruining my child’s view of what a healthy relationship is, but who is to say what that is exactly? My child sees mommy and daddy together at home. Mommy and Daddy go places some nights together, but we retire to separate bedrooms. We are doing the best we can at the moment. It sucks, and I dread the day my child walks out the front door to heads away to college. Dread. I’ll cross that road when we get there, but for now, this is life as we know it.